Wednesday, August 29, 2012


original Aug. 24th '12
i'm coming here not quite sure what i want to say... well not formerly. i'm too tired to write something neat. but i'm just blown over by God's unfailing nature. trials have come and come, so hard and fast that i could barely find my footing. it was to the point that i didn't know if i could ever truly find up again. but now all of a sudden the clouds are parting again. and miracle of miracles i'm even seeing purpose for many of my thunderstorms... God is so faithful. my little victories- i have a job for sure now again this year when until today i was sweating it out. not only do i have a job but it wasn't even a struggle for my boss to decide if i could work for her. we finally have some dates for me traveling to iwakuni and it spans two holidays: the marine corps ball and thanksgiving. getting to spend special occassions with my husband means more than i can communicate. i get to see him again...
and that's the other thing that i can't get out of my head: my husband. we are both human, and far far from perfect but God really has blessed me. He's blessed me with a man with a soft heart. now i say that not meaning he is soft as a man. o no. he has a soft heart towards me as a woman, towards life that has constant lessons to learn and foremost to our Lord that whispers to our spirits in the stillness. he listens. his heart is pliable to the Master Potter's hands. how blessed i am to watch. it challenges me to have an even more teachable spirit. something that doesn't come naturally to any human but i feel especially me. "[pride] is strong with this one." at this moment i yearn for my Father to break me of it. i say that with knees knocking together because "breaking" is NEVER comfortable. but i know hardness is ugly and has painful jagged edges. i want my cracks smoothed out by His hands to not have any edges that might scratch or gouge people.
i am thankful for the blessings he has bestowed on me: a job, a date when i will see my love again, and a love that i wouldn't trade for anything in the world with a man that body, mind and soul i will never be able to separate myself from.

My savior is saved

original July 11th '12
"... did you not know what you were asking for in becoming a military wife?" Perhaps I didn't. I don't think anyone does. I've been reading up on the subject; yes, I'm a geek, nice to meet you. It's been painfully refreshing to know I'm not the only one who thinks and feels what I do. I mentally prepared for it as much as possible. But no one can ever understand some major life event until it is experience: mentally, physically, emotinally or spiritually. Mine is all of the above. Not just mine, any wife whose husband has been called away by duty to his country. I quote many, many other military wives that say, "You don't understand unless you are one. It either makes you... or breaks you." I intend, in God's power alone, to be one that it makes!
But I did not come here tonight to talk about my journey, but rather the reason I know I can make it through this journey, my inspiration to keep going. That reason is my husband. I wish I could tell each and every one of you the intricate details of each instance and situation this man has had to endure and has endured! By the very nature of his vocation, a United States Marine, he endures untold pressures most civilian men or women will never face. I thank each person who wears that Eagle, Globe and Anchor. I have seen and tasted your world. And I bow my head in respect for the life you must lead. It is not an easy one. You are the few and have every right to be proud for what you face every day. Yes Oorah's and Yuts are appropriate at this point!
My man though, and he is one at that, I married no boy for no boy could withstand what he does, he faces more challenges beyond the call of duty to his nation. He wakes up to a world everyday that is parched for God. Moreover, it is antagonistic toward what and Whom he believes. The enemy of our souls has done his best to bring him down. He must fight everyday and stake his claim in his Father's kingdom, not that of the prince of this world. He fights seen and unseen for his faith. Yet not only for his faith does he fight, but he fights for me and us. Almost every other relationship he has seen a buddy of his have when they met no longer exists. Marriages, engagements, dating relationships, none of them have a good track record in the military. However, our God has seen fit to make ours last and mature through this military life. His fellow Marines have marvelled at the vitality of our relationship, and praise God all he can do is give glory to our Savior. He has strengthened us both for this task.
But when waves hit, the man I married amazes me at how he can weather it and, just like a time we had at the beach when the current was too strong for me to stand, he grips my wrists and pulls us both back to shore, to safety. God gave me a man who He knew was strong enough to ford through the strong currents for both of us. He is a man who constantly is forced to go against the tide. It's tiring but he is the stronger for it. I am in complete awe of his ability to withstand set backs, cruelty, pain, disappointment and still come to my aid to help me wade through those deep waters. His capacity for kindness, patience, generosity of spirit never ceases amidst these trials. He took the advice of a beloved mentor to us both. He was told just before leaving for basic training, "Remember who you are and Whose you are." He has not forgotten either.
I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man as my husband, who lives a life that I cannot fathom having, but he does it to the glory of His Savior. Benjamin Arthur Wilburn always saves my day but that's because he has been saved for an eternity with his King, my King as well. To whoever calls Jesus Christ Lord and Master, He is Savior King to us all.
I love you baby.

Newly Wilburn

original June 14th '12
It's early in the morning and I should be sleeping but before I make a concerted effort I just had to write a little bit. This past year as most of you know was a stretch of our faith... but He proved faithful. A dear mentor and father in the Lord gave me this verse soon after Benjamin left over a year and a half ago and it has been fulfilled in our life: 2 Tim. 1:12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. Thus I thank my God for this past year, with it's doubts, fears, fights, tears. I thank Him because it also brought laughs and memories that can never be replaced and a broadened view of our God. He CAN do it! He IS faithful! He's worthy of being entrusted with our plans, emotions, relationships, and heart. He won't sqash them. They may get bruised and cracked. But if they crack it's only so they can be remolded to a more beautiful shape to fit HIS mold, that of His Son's, Jesus Christ's image (2 Cor. 3:18; Rom. 8:29). We had to lay down our plans and desires this past year. My flesh kicked at not getting "what I wanted it, and when I wanted it. And i wanted it NOW!" But God began teaching us personally the lesson of John 12:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." If we die to ourselves, our plans and desires, and surrender to God's, we bear much fruit. I studied Matthew while Benjamin was away this past year, and the earnestness of John the Baptist's charge was imprinted on my heart: "bear fruit in keeping with repentance..." Matt. 3:8. Is my fruit habitually in keeping with repentance? Do I live a life consistent with my declaration of surrender from my own sinful way of life to the better (sometimes more difficult) plan of my heavenly Father's? Or do people still see me living for myself? Ouch! But God has blessed me with a man who fits me so well as to convict me most of the time (unless he feels like going easy on me ;)) when I do things not in accordance with the profession I've made.
And on that note... being newly Wilburn is... wonderful :) Would being together be even better? The understatement of the century. But we have faith that God will continue to teach us things by keeping us on our toes. It is such a blessing to be joined to a man who is hungry for God's heart. And, I could go on forever about him and about this next point but - young ladies "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases" because there is NOTHING like the blessing of doing it God's way. Yet our Lord we know is a God of restoration. Praise Him! Joel 2:25 "And I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten..." How gracious is our God for looking out for every aspect of our lives. I am seeing and my heart quickens in anticipation of what a couple can do for the Lord. I love my husband and his leading us into the path our Lord has winnowed for us (Ps. 139:3).
Thank you ALL for praying for us this past year and now. Feeling the community surrounding us means the world to me... to us!
Mrs. Wesley Wilburn ;) hehe