as i listen to THE song again, my mind churns and connects a million little moments and creates a kind of collage. the collection of recollections brings to mind why i did, have, and continue to fall in love with my lord, who happens to be Jesus Christ. isn't it amazing to think that the son of God, God Himself, WANTS us to fall in love with Him? it's like a pastor's son longing for a prostitute to love him. weird! He could have to best, the best of the best, perfection. and He wants me. Me!!! the dirtiest of all His children.
but back to my collage... as i reflect on my life, as far back as i can remember having serious troubles in life. not just my toy breaking or getting a paper cut, He has always pulled through for me. when i thought "i'll never make it through this one" or "how can this be good?" the outcome is always perfect or completely satisfying. and in satisfying i mean God gives me peace about it and i can objectively see what He wanted me to learn from it. the biggest example of this was my senior year of high school. i was very sick and it took all my strength, correction my strength wasn't enough, it took giving all of me to God, feeling like a cripple, and following blindly to JUST function in the daily activities of going to school and work. i had to trust that God would either take me out of or keep me through those tough times. and He did a little of both. once in a while, i begin feeling that way (sickness) again and i remember, i know God got me through before and i survived just fine. He can do it again! so as, in the recent days, i've been feeling like my senior year is coming back in small doses i return to my victories that Jesus awarded me. and i love Him dearly for it.
He lovingly holds His hand out. "I beseech you, beloved, trust Me. I know you completely; better than you know yourself. For I formed you. I love you from time's birth through eternity and there is nothing I want more than the very best for you." Tears fill His eyes as I shrink back. I know "the very best" may not be a frolic through the flowers. "Darling, I love you with every fiber of My being. I never want to hurt you. But if hurt comes your way, know that it will hurt Me every bit that it hurts you because you will be in My arms the entire way." I raise my gaze to His brilliant stare. It pierces my core. "How can I say no to this?" I inch forward, hesitantly, as His steadfast nature floods my being. "Come, little one, come home."
... every morning i should wake up that much closer in my Saviours embrace. Knowing Him that much more. Trusting a second quicker. Loving deeper and deeper. Coming that much closer to home.
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