Monday, September 29, 2008

i wish i had more time...


... to say all that is on my heart and in my head. this time in life is so full and ever changing and unpredictable. my opinions are like clay on so many levels and that's frightening. i am impressionable and pliable. people's actions and opinions and and... just being them makes me change my mind a million times. i'm so ready for solidity and establishment... but then again am i? i'm so young, yet i've aged so quickly

"a fragile frame aged with misery and when our eyes meet i know you see"

does anyone else besides one look into my eyes and even see a glimmer of the reality that is swirling inside my head. i wonder sometimes and when it happens it scares me. yet i ache for it at the same time. do you really see me when you look into these steely blue eyes.


i think it is quite appropriate that my eyes are steel blue don't you? read into that what you will...

3 comments:

Abi said...

wow, I've kinda been struggling with the same thoughts! It must be our one mind. I was talking to my mom and she said it's only normal for this stage in life and that we can only learn what we can and seek God's purpose (easy to say, hard to do) I was also talking to a woman at church and she said that as a young adult she'd scoff at peple who'd say you don't really know yourself until your at least in your 20s, but now she would agree with them because she is just now really starting to understand who she is in Christ and she's 20 something. So I donno, but I found it encouraging. "It'll pass love, it'll pass, you're young enough for that" <3
And of course your eyes are steel blue, you're a steel shield :) <3
I love u

DearVoid said...

ugh i love you more! ha a shield. hmm memories : ) i can't wait til wednesday

overthinker said...

i've been doing this lately with the Bible. {track with me here-i'm not saying i doubt it!}

sometimes i feel panic rise in me when i read a commentary or feel i need another's opinion to really "get" what i'm reading in the word. i'll take what they say and think "ok, this all sounds good, i think it makes sense but it is just a fallible man's words. what if he's wrong? what if it messes up my understanding? what if i read the scripture every day and twist it in my mind to make it say what i want it to say? aaahh!"
then i remember.
God is good. God gave us His words. He's going to keep me on track.

i think He will guide you and mold your impressionable clay opinions to line up with His-to be what He wants them to be. so long as you allow Him to do the shaping. He'll use others as well as His word. as He teaches you, I'm pretty sure that clay will turn to steel. in it's own time. ;)
{i just gave you one more opinion to drive you crazay...)

that was one horrendous blow up of thought. sorry. i shouldn't just splat all over your blog...