realizations...

i'm still sick so i don't have the energy to make this long and cutesy but...

last night doing bible study with my family (i love doing bible study with my family. i love that we do it together. the Word brings us closer together. it's amazing right before we started we kinda had a fight. but after people apologized to each other of their own volition afterward. the healing affect of His words hard at work) anyway... we were reviewing the last chapter we did and part of the lesson was on the rich man that asked Jesus how to get into heaven. and Jesus told him to sell all his riches and give them to the poor. the rich man didn't want to hear it and went away grieving. he wouldn't do it. when we first encountered this the most obvious thought came to us. well it's hard for rich people to give up their possessions... blah blah blah. yes we know. but it came to me. i am that rich man. i was. i had things in my life that were unnecessary gifts. i hadn't had them before and weren't necessary to life. but God blessed me with them for a season. and now He whispered "wesley, can you give this up for me? will you sell it and come follow Me?" and He gave me the strength to do it. but now my flesh is hindering me from forgetting and following Him. i feel like a spoiled child when the parent is taking an object it shouldn't be playing with away. and i, the brat, have a death grip and scream rebelliously at the tearing away.

the riches of this world will be burned up. i must forsake all others, take up my cross and follow after Him. i was so convicted. i was, i am that rich young ruler. may God give me the strength to continue to let go of my riches to follow Him. but you see, riches are so hard to let go of because they are tangible, visible here and now. i know i have them. i feel secure in there existence. God... not as much. it takes faith. faith in the unseen. not so easy. God asks much of us. but why not? that means He believes we can do much for Him. we are His children and He wants us to be high achievers. the road to righteousness is so hard but only if i solely rely on my own power and flesh to do it. if i let Christ in me do it all. i can pass with flying colors.

"Lord You don't have to move that mountain

Just help me Lord to climb it

You don't have to move that stumbling block

Just show me the way around it"

"So, let go, let go

Just jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"